


please don't lose yourself while you try to avenge me, your soul's much too pretty

by loullee



Series: rey x rose [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (it's not mentioned or anything but it's based on the way i react to stressful shit so...), Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Force-Sensitive Finn, Implied Autistic Rose, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-05 04:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loullee/pseuds/loullee
Summary: im not super happy with this one but honestly atm im just happy that i finished it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯





	1. part one

Rey hesitated, turning back to face Finn as he called desperately for her to fall back, and shaking her head at him. With a wave of her hand, the door of her unit's ship slid closed, and she watched as they took off. Behind her there lay a path of destruction marring the desolate planet that had served as their battlefield, leading to where Kylo Ren stood, dwarfed by the hulking ship that had delivered him to her. It was time to end this.

_Ignoring the sirens blaring across the Resistance base, Rose watched as Rey donned the sleek armour of the New Jedi, scars from previous battles matching stitches that wrapped around her shoulder and arms. She hoped that when they saw each other again, there wouldn't be a new mark to stitch up. Crossing the room, Rose moved to hold her partner before they were separated by the vacuum of space and a thousand stormtroopers._

_Rey hooked an arm around her waist before curling into her partner's easy warmth. “Hey,” she murmured. “I’ll be fine. Trust me, we just need to do our jobs, get the war over with, and then we can go live on some cosy farming planet somewhere no one’s even heard of blasters, and you can spend all day long renovating some ancient X-wing, and I’ll levitate you your tools,” Rose giggled softly, feeling the tension that had been rising in her gut all morning slowly dissipate. “I promise you, it’ll be fine.”_

_Rose leaned back, putting a hand against Rey’s cheek and memorising the look in her eyes when she softly said “I love you… please come back to me,” and Rey had turned her face, gently kissing Rose’s hand._

_“I will always come back to you,” she whispered, closing her eyes as Rose rested her head against her shoulder. They spent a moment more resting in each other’s embrace before reality came back and they had to return to the war at hand._

"Finn? Finn, what's happening? Where is she?" Comms crackling with interference, Rose waited for his answer.

"I'm really sorry Rose," Finn murmured.

"Oh god. Was she injured? Is she- please, she's alive?" 

"Yeah, I can still feel her," he paused. "It was him. We were evacuating, and he showed up. Rey refused to leave." On the other end, Rose was clearly panicking. "I promise, as soon as we get back to base, I'll fly back and get her, okay? We just... I couldn't put the rest of the unit in danger, and she sealed the door."

"No, I get it. It wasn't your fault," after she spoke, Rose took a sharp breath.  _Oh god._ "This is because of me, isn't it?"

Finn's silence was answer enough.

"Oh god. Shit. This is my fault.  _Shit._ I can't lose her. She's my _family,_ god I can't lose her." 

"No, Rose, no," Finn insisted, hearing her begin to hyperventilate. "Just breath, this is his fault, no one else's. Definitely not yours. Please, just breath, okay? We're going to get her back."

"I was gonna ask her to marry me."

" _Shit."_

"I know."

"I'd better be your best man."

Rose laughed painfully. "Of course," she said, voice cracking, barely a whisper. "Of course you'd be my best man. I'll even let Poe officiate."

"Nah, he'll cry too much," Finn breathed, the graveness of the situation setting in. "We'll get her back." Rose nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see her, as she discarded the comm, sitting heavily on her bed and pulling Rey's pillow to her. The familiar scent of soft, lazy morning and gentle kisses, and an easy companionship she never thought she'd get enveloped her. Rocking back and forth gently, Rose let her mind turn off as she held onto the memories of everything she might be about to lose.

_Rey winced at the sound of static as Poe switched on his comms. "Hey there, Skywalker."_

_"Dameron," she greeted, voice strained._

_"You okay? You sound kinda peaky."_

_She shifted uncomfortably, the sense of unease that had been settled in the pit of her stomach all morning growing steadily to the point of distraction. Trying her best to push the feeling aside, she took a breath and answered as casually as possible, "I'm fine. I am a little confused though."_

_"I know what you mean. Sure, we're pretty good at our jobs, but don't these stormtroopers seem a little... incompetent."_

_Rey nodded to herself, watching as their unit made quick work of the stormtroopers that had infected the moon they stood on._

_"Yeah... is this really a surprise though? Bylo's new technique seems to be mediocrity."_

_Poe gave a quick laugh. "True, but I'd at least expected some sort of fight when we were called out here. Maybe Rylo Ken's been having another temper tantrum?"_

_Rey smiled, waving as he flew overhead before a beeping rang out over their comms._

_"Ahah, our leader calls,"  Poe exclaimed dramatically. Maybe they know why it's so dull over here. Gimme a sec," he said, switching frequency._

_With nothing to distract her now but watching her team round up the stormtroopers under Finn's command, Rey got increasingly agitated. The feeling of dread had gotten stronger and stronger. She was almost certain she could feel something in the force, but the cause remained unseen._

_Before she could go to see if Finn had any idea what was happening, Poe contacted her again._

_"Rey, we need to get back to the base right now."_

_"What's going on?" Waving Finn over, her head began to feel light._

_"This was all a distraction," he said, anger seeping into his voice. "They arrived at the base a few minutes ago."_

_"Are they still there? Is anyone hurt?" Please don't say her._

_"Apparently they went in like they were looking for someone specific. Noone even had time to fight back by the time they realised they'd been infiltrated. Rey, the took a prisoner."_

_Her stomach swooped. "No." Anyone but her._

_"I'm sorry."_

_Finn arrived just in time to break her fall as she collapsed to the ground._

 


	2. part 2

Rey stalked across the acrid battlefield, the air around her crackling with unrestrained energy, her lightsabre raised at her side. Ren chuckled and stepped forward.

“What a predictable move, little jedi.”

“I promise you, you haven’t predicted anything that’s about to happen,” she said forcibly calm, taking a deep breath and focusing all of her strength on the monster in front of her.

He smiled as they neared each other. “I can hardly imagine you think you’re going to win this?” This time his laugh was incredulous. Now they were hardly the length of a lightsabre apart, and both had stopped.

“I’m not here to win anything _Ben,”_ she spat. “I’m here to collect your head.”

He looked confused. “Well that’s not very ‘light side’, do you really thin—”

Rey swung her sabre viciously, knocking him off balance. “I’m not feeling very ‘light side’ today.”

Ren righted himself, before taking an offensive stance and fighting back.

The two were equally matched, and exchanged swift, violent blows.

The dust billowed around them, decreasing visibility, and Rey began to step closer to Ren as she attacked. It weakened her defence, but he was clearly rattled at the sudden change in style. “Oooh, feeling angry, are we? Baby Skywalker, I’ve got to say, this really doesn’t seem like you.” Any injury that his words intended was lost from how out of breath he was.

With a powerful downwards blow, Rey grazed the length of his fighting arm, and he cried out, lightsabre falling to the ground.

Sabre at his neck, Rey looked him dead in the eyes, and Ren seemed to realise how much danger he was in. “Oh… this is because of her, isn’t it?” He nodded as her eyes hardened. “Well. I’m not going to lie, although we didn’t get much information, she was fun to keep around. A real fighter.” The air around them snapped with electricity, and Rey tossed her sabre aside, reaching out a single hand, and watching as Ren’s breathing stopped, his throat constricting, eyes bulging. “You’re going to pay for everything you did to her, and then you’re going to die.”

He collapsed to the ground, body arching up and legs kicking out as he struggled to take a breath, fighting her hold on him.  He shook his head. “What would she think of you then.” He croaked out.

Rey blinked. She let go of the choke hold, watching in horror as Ren lay gasping for air.

“I knew it, a good little jedi, through and through.” He smiled smugly, before falling unconscious at her will.

Rey dropped to the ground, breathing hard. Closing her eyes, she called to Finn through the force. Sending an apology.

 

_Rose didn’t know how long she’d been in her cell at the First Order base. After a painful interrogation, they’d decided she didn’t know anything that they didn’t, and her only purpose left was a public execution. Her only hope was that Rey wouldn’t see it._

_The order had made a habit of killing prisoners of war to send a message to opposing forces. It was only a matter of time before her friends back at the base realised what was going to happen. General Organa would make sure they didn’t do anything reckless though. Rose was sure of that._

_She flinched as the sound of the door sliding open filled the room. So, it was time._

_She stood up, refusing to look at the stormtrooper, keeping any inkling of fear of her face._

_The trooper walked quickly over to her, and Rose turned to look at the door, before the sound of the trooper’s airtight helmet being pulled off caught her attention._

_Rey stood in front of her clad in white armour. She took her hand gently, searching her face like she was memorising it, eyes welling up. “Rose,” she whispered, before pulling her close._

_“You found me,” she spoke against Rey’s neck, her face pressed tightly into her shoulder._

_“Of course,” Rey breathed. “Are you okay?”_

_“Not really.”_

_“I’m… I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” she said quickly, and Rose pulled back to look her in the eyes._

_“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”_

Rose lay curled up under a thick blanket, blocking out the universe with a pair of headphones and the lights turned off. Finn had left a few hours earlier, but she’d been left behind. As a slit off light fell over the bed from the door being opened, Rose closed her eyes and feigned sleep, waiting for whoever it was to leave. After a few minutes of silence, she quietly turned her head to saw Rey sitting across the room from her, staring expressionless at the floor.

Rushing over to her, Rose stopped short of touching her, eyeing her warily. “Rey?” she whispered.

Rey took a shuddering breath, still staring at the ground. “I brought him back here. I think General Organa appreciated it. They’re holding him someone under the base.” Her voice was monotone.

“Please look at me.”

Rey shook her head, staring at the ground. Rose put a hand to her cheek, waiting.

Rey avoided it at first, but when their eyes met, the apathetic mask crumbled and her eyes filled with tears “I’m so sorry,” she choked out, breath stolen by heaving sobs.

“No, you don’t need to apologise—"

“I do, I wasn’t there for you when they got you, I couldn’t even finish this now, I’m so sorry Rose, I failed you and then I couldn’t even—"

“Rey,” she said softly, brushing her tears away gently with her thumb. “I just want you safe okay? Safe, and here with me. Together. We’re in the middle of a war, you can’t fight everyone single handed and I would never want you to. And you have never failed me. Ever. So long as you’re here with me, you could never fail me, I promise.”

“I’m still sorry,” she whispered.

“I know.”

“Can we just… sleep for a little while?” she asked, standing up and shuffling towards the bed.

Rose nodded, joining her under the covers.

“I love you.”

Rey nodded, kissing her shoulder as she snuggled into the cocoon of warmth. “Love you too. So much.”

Rose smiled at her and watched as Rey fell asleep, staring up at the ceiling as she revelled in the silence of the dark room, broken only by Rey’s soft snores, and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not super happy with this one but honestly atm im just happy that i finished it so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
